The real reason Pluto isn't a planet anymore is because scientists are lazy. They obviously don't want to have to memorize all the other planets they have found. Also, they don't want to make children learn them. Being from Generation X, they made us diagram sentences, memorize speeches and Shakespeare. I say, get over it!
According to NASA, the criteria for being a planet are:
It must orbit a star (in our cosmic neighborhood, the Sun).
It must be big enough to have enough gravity to force it into a spherical shape.
It must be big enough that its gravity cleared away any other objects of similar size near its orbit around the Sun.
Pluto has done 2 out of the 3. It has not "Cleared away other objects of similar size near its orbit around the sun." Give me a break and get over it. This is a bunch of mambo jumbo, so it seems obviously NASA just doesn't want to do the math.
As it turns out, there are 16, again, the math seems to be fuzzy on this one, "dwarf planets" in our solar system. That would mean we have 24 plants. Wait what? So instead of giving us more planets, they gave us less. This is not the human way. Less is never more when it comes to space. When the aliens show up and say they have 22 planets, we are all going to look foolish.
Is this video Neil deGrasse Tyson repeatedly hurts Pluto’s feelings.
Neil deGrasse Tyson repeatedly insults Pluto's size in this video and unfairly says you could "step on it." Pluto is 1400 miles wide! It would take you 26 hours to drive around it. Does that sound small to you? It's obvious here that Neil wants to do something other than the mental work of memorizing more planets.
Reasons Pluto should be a planet and a whole lot more.
So instead of insulting the planets and making them feel bad about themselves by calling them "dwarf" planets, why don't we welcome them into the arena of classrooms and solar system models? What would happen if we did?
We could party!
So if stuffy scientists would lighten up a little bit, we could bring some of these dwarf planets into "official planet status." Eris seems about the same size as Pluto, but it's much further away from the Sun. Do we care that it's further than super far? I don't. Everything in space is far away, so what. What would happen if we said tomorrow that we not only have nine planets again but we have 10? If we don't insult their size and make them feel bad; we could celebrate them just like any other planets. We could all have a parade. We could coming together world-wide to celebrate Eris Day. Imagine how the children would feel. Instead of living in a lousy 8 planet system, they'd have 10 planets to show off to the other alien kids.
Adding new planets would benefit NASA.
Every time we added another planet to the chart, everyone would have to learn it. If we added one more world every month for the next couple of years, think about all the parties and all the time you'd spend thinking about space. This would be good for business.
It would make NASA look like it's finding stuff. Right now, everyone feels like NASA has lost a planet. I'm a little bitter, and I think everyone is. So we could be less piety with the classifications and say that we have more rather than fewer planets. Everyone likes more worlds, not fewer.
Dwarf planets should be valued like any other planet! If you were flying through space and your ship malfunctioned and needed to set down for a little bit to make repairs, would you rather have a gassy giant or a dwarf planet? Exactly; in that scenario, the dwarf planet would save you; the gas giant would sit there and look pretty. Just sayin'.
Also, stop being lazy. I had to memorize Shakespeare, diagram sentences, and learn long-form old math without computers. I had to watch crappy tv shows with my parents at night because we only had 4 channels. Gen Y and Z have cell phones, computers, and AI to give them the answers. They need to pull a little weight and learn some extra planets. Stop this madness.
So there, let's drop the dwarf, reconstruct the classroom pictographs of planets, and add 6 more worlds. We can start small. These six in the diagram below are a good starting point. (from NASA.gov)
From NASA.gov
We are starting with Pluto. We should add it back as a REGULAR planet and have a big Pluto party day. Blueberries seem like a good fruit, so blueberry beer, blueberry cake, blue berry other stuff. You know, blueberries, like Pluto. It'll be super fun. Then every so often, we add a new planet. Instead of acting like we've known about them the whole time and lazily just throwing them up on a chart, we have another big celebration for Eris! We have Eris Day, and the world celebrates officially finding a new planet. People around the world could be filled with hope. Wars could pause for Eris Day. Whenever someone speaks up and says they've known about Eris since 2003, we tell them to shut up and drink their silver Eris beer.
We need more planets, dammit. If aliens show up, we will all look foolish only having 8, so let's stop being petty and get on it. We will put these dark days of insulting planets behind us and celebrate our bright new horizons.